The year is over. By all accounts it looked like a pretty epic(I hate that word) year, running wise. I ran in one of the toughest 50k's in the country in Utah. Ran my second 100 mile race, completed the triple crown of PA mountain races. Did a brutal 100k that started at midnight, no crews. pacers, and only a few aid stations. Then six days later ran the Steamtown marathon. Looks pretty awesome. Got a million likes on Facebook and Instagram. Got tons of encouragement from my amazing friends and family. I got to see some amazing sights. Saw two sunrises in one race. Utah was fucking amazing. It's all good.....not really.
I should have done better. Deep down in my gut it was all a failure. For the amount of training I did, my race times should have been better. I need to break the cycle of performing well when it doesn't count to performing to my peak when it does count. I've always been a great "practice player" weather it was basketball or baseball. Once it counted I never lived up to my potential. That shit needs to stop.
I have nothing left in this year and don't have a race till next April. I am going to totally change my approach to training. It will be more structured. I will follow a plan. I will write things down. Listen to my body. Take more risks.
Most importantly I will run my own race. Sometimes in the middle of long races I tend to fall in with a pack of runners and stay with them. Often I think that the people I'm running with are either better than me or the same. And if I feel really good I ignore that just stay safe with the pack. I need to just fucking go for it sometimes. I need to know the work that I put in will power me though that massive climb. I need to leave it all out there instead of saying to myself "I'll place decent in this race, no need to push it" no, I need to push that shit.
So It's back to the drawing board. I'm going to build a solid aerobic base. Put on some muscle. Improve my yoga and my yoga teaching practice. And In January start hitting it hard so I can have a year I can truly be proud of.